A Shared Living Story – Ryan McInnis

By Kevin Foster
Team Lead – Saco, ME

When I first got to know Ryan McInnis, he seemed very shy and reserved.

Ryan lived at home with his family and kept to himself; he was very used to a certain way of living. As I worked with Ryan more and more, I found out that under that shy exterior was a very smart, very caring young man with an amazing capacity for growth.

As a team, we all knew that given the opportunity, Ryan was capable of just about anything. We worked to encourage him to try new things and put himself out there. Before we knew it Ryan was participating in things he had never considered, such as Special Olympics and going camping. He was also starting to find his own way socially, becoming more comfortable speaking up and making new friends.

It was around this time that tragedy struck and Ryan’s life was turned upside down. In the fall of 2017 Ryan’s family home burnt down and his family was forced to relocate out of state. Ryan expressed early on that he did not want to lose the relationships he had made at the day program and decided to move in with his grandparents.

Just as we thought things would go back to normal for Ryan, his grandparents were also forced to relocate out of state. Ryan was given 3 weeks’ notice.

Needless to say, Ryan had big decisions to make.

With the support of me and his Case Manager, Erin, Ryan decided he would find an apartment in the area and try to live independently.

He had spent years getting to where he was and did not want to give up the relationships and support he had developed. This was an uphill battle for him from the start. It was incredibly difficult to balance his lack of rental references and the time crunch he had to find a place to live. At this point, Ryan had a few days to be out of his grandparents’ home and very little options so he decided to try weekly rentals at local hotels.

On Easter Sunday, I took Ryan to a small hotel on Route 1 and set him up. It was a lot for him, but Ryan was taking everything pretty well. In fact, I was very worried about him and felt guilty leaving him alone. But he had already handled so many other challenges; I knew he could handle this. We set him up with home support staff and made his priority finding a permanent place to live. Between his need to stay where he was comfortable and the efforts of staff, we were able to find him a one-bedroom apartment in Sanford. It was not the perfect situation, but it kept him where he wanted to be.

In the next few weeks, the priority was to help Ryan adjust to life on his own.

He began doing things he had not had to do before such as laundry, grocery shopping and all of his own meal prep. Once again Ryan proved that with a little bit of support there is nothing he cannot accomplish.

Before long he not only had adjusted to living independently but had begun searching for employment.

Typical to the type of year he was having, this also happened very quickly. Soon Ryan found himself living on his own and holding down a job at a local restaurant.

So much had changed for Ryan in under a year and his team worked hard to make sure that he could maintain the situation he had found himself in. Ryan and I were communicating almost daily and trying to figure out what he wanted moving forward. One of the biggest things we discussed was the fact that despite being happy living independently, he found himself feeling lonely.

In a year he had gone from living with a big family to being alone in a one-bedroom apartment. I knew Ryan well enough to know that he loves people, and loves conversation. We discussed several options and tried a lot of different things until eventually, we discussed the possibility of transitioning into shared living.

At first, Ryan was unsure. His current living situation kept him close to his job and was in an area he was familiar with and he did not want to risk losing that. As time went on and he expressed his loneliness more I encouraged him to meet a few providers and “shop around” until he found a situation that worked for him.

He decided that looking into it wouldn’t hurt, so I began the process. Kristen Sengel took the lead and understood Ryan’s desire to maintain both his current day program and his job.

Soon, Ryan had his first meet and greet with a possible shared living provider named Lisa Parent.

Having overseen Ryan’s program and being as involved in his life I was very worried at first. I wanted Ryan to find the perfect situation and didn’t want him to feel like he had to take the first thing that came along.

To my surprise and great delight the first thing that came along turned out to be as close to the perfect situation as we could get.

Lisa Parent not only had a living space that allows Ryan to be as independent as he wants to be, but she and her family opened their home up to him and made him feel welcome. They set up a night for Ryan to come over and she even prepared him his favorite meal.

I will never forget talking with him about how it went the next day. He was nervous about telling his family he had made this choice, but at the same time he was truly excited at the prospect of this new experience. This was shared living at its best.

Ryan didn’t need to be taken care of.  He had proved over the last year that he was more than capable of living on his own.

Ryan needed to not feel lonely. He needed to be around caring and understanding people who are there for him when he needs it.

That’s what Lisa Parent and her family provide. They have given him a place to belong.

Currently, Ryan continues to thrive.

He is a valued member of the team where he works and has built several solid relationships there. He has become increasingly outspoken to the point where the shy young man I met four years ago is a distant memory.

Ryan is proof that with the right support and the right effort anyone can end up where they want to be.